I don’t even know how I gathered the mood and strength to type all this down but just….yeah im just so sad right now and nothing’s helping
I was on the verge of giving everything all up last night. End everything with just one swoosh
But I didn’t do it
I’m still unhappy when i woke up this morning though.
I’ve been laying on the mattress I have laid in my whole room since last night. I’ve been crying my eyeballs out since the time I saw my results, there’s used tissues everywhere, my whole room and life is such a mess. My bookshelf’s down, I’m down, my stuffed animals are everywhere to be seen, my laptop is on rage, being up all night and my results are still on screen.
I am not me right now. Maybe I am, just the downside.
This is the lowest I have gotten, I think.
what? ask.fm lang ang dating? =)) jk. well, okay.
It wasn’t that awful…..yet it wasn’t great either.
It made me shape into a better person, and it, too, made me stronger. I learned a heck lot of lessons. Even though it’s only been a few weeks since, I still don’t regret it. :)
We had our Baccalaureate mass last April 2, 2014. And the Graduation on the next day.
Because taking pictures after the holy mass was obligatory.
With fambam! <3 Then again, someone please photoshop dad behind us (or I can do it myself. But I’m too scared since I suddenly might hear dad’s chuckling while I edit our photo)
And of course, the graduation ceremony itself.
Can’t believe that I got the Young Artist Award!
That’s me catwalking when I got my diploma, gahahaha!
I’m too lazy to share the whole flow of the ceremony but there’s one thing I can assure you: This was our last show.
BOSCON14NS, I WILL MISS YOU. :((( I can’t believe I graduated already!
Taking of photos plus selfies, everywhere! Too bad I wasn’t able to take a picture with everyone (wow)
Selfies from our ipad!
With my most valuable group of friends that I will forever treasure! We will still see each other in the future, I mean hey, we still have plans okay. :(((
After the graduation, I had an after party with my childhood friends which was really fun! I hope to experience more nights such as that one.
I’m going to miss a heck lot of things in High School. (But I figured out that I’m probably going to cite those things in a different post)
Diploma, award, medal, photos, graduation letters from batchmates, souvenir, alumni card, etc.
Sigh. I’m actually going to miss my Alma Matter……and all the memories that I had. Good or bad, I will forever cherish them.
Hi hi hi!
I finally have the chance to blog properly again, yay!
It’s been really tiring lately. I’ve been going out a lot and my galas are actually making me exhausted! But I’m not having any regrets though, for as long as I’m on the right track and it’s keeping me happy, I’m always on the go.
Anyway, CDBS had their last day last March 28, 2014. But while everyone in school was free to go by 12 pm, seniors still had to attend graduation practice in the afternoon.
All photos are raw and grabbed, by the way. (Except for the ones from my instagram account)
Selfies with some of my batchmates (incomplete)
Polaroid film I borrowed from Tricia! I miss Parts + the rest of Mirabello. :(
Royal Blue Pigs in our usual tambayan, the middle hut near the HS bldg.
And so the day went on since it was the last day. Which was actually fun and tiring despite of the irritating summer heat. We had a mini batch picture taking (still incomplete) after the last graduation practice!
After a long time at school, my day didn’t end yet. I went to Glorietta along with Katlene, Kit, and Kat to watch The 1975 live! We drove through the Skyway since we were running quite late lol
Photo is from Katlene.
I borrowed Kat’s camera since my DSLR’s lens was not in a good condition (I wasn’t able to remove it’s cracked filter before the day so I didn’t bring it which makes me sad because I NEED TO ATLEAST TAKE PICTURES WITH MY BBY)
Anyway, we didn’t have tickets, so we had to stay outside the ~gates~ but it was still worth it.
Photo from my instagram account, all taken by me via Kat’s camera. Edited.
Hearing and seeing them play live was the bomb (same to other concerts)
Had the chance to see Miki after so many months! I missed this gal. :* Looking forward to attend more concerts with you gurl
Desperate calls for desperate measures.
Y’all should have seen Matt flip his hair while he sings his heart out :((((
Hang out some more with my friends after watching the concert. We grabbed dinner and talked, and went home late.
Starbucks late at night, yes.
Got home by approx 12 am. Another day not wasted. Had so much fun!
I wanted to be your singer,
to express my feelings with tunes.
I wanted to be your fictional character,
and to just give you the unbelievable swoons.
I wanted to be your physics topic,
so that you would be the free fall to my gravity.
I wanted to be your unsolved logic,
for I am the search of your clarity.
I wanted to be your colorful skies,
so that you’ll see me beautifully everytime.
I wanted to be your awful lies,
so you’d bet on me every time.
I wanted to be your nothing,
to be the silence above your ears.
Truthfully, I just want to be your everything,
and not to be the reason of your tears.
when i leave,
i want you to notice. i want you to miss me. i want the loss to hit you like a bullet through the head, and i want the absence to be obvious. i want to leave a burning, bleeding hole in your heart. and at midnight, when you’re sitting on your roof in the company of a cigarette, i want you to taste my goodbye in the alcohol you’ll use to drown the thoughts of me. i want you to hear my voice in every syllable of every single song. i want you to think of the moment you last saw me smile, and keep it on repeat until the dawn. i want you to see my eyes in the setting sun and my lips in the budding roses. i want you to feel me in the breeze. i want you to lie on your back with tears stinging your eyes at the thought of my final farewell.
when i leave,
i want you to spend every sunday on your knees praying to the sky that i would come back to you. and i want the fact that i’ll never return to slap you in the face the way i did when we were fighting. i want you to feel every second of the pain. i want you to look at photographs of me and memorize every last detail of my face, and i want you to look for me in everyone you meet, searching for my own smile within theirs. i want the agony to make a home in your heart, settling comfortably, a permanent resident. i want you to hold someone’s hand wishing it was mine. i want you to think of all the things you should have said but never did, and i want each word to circle its way around your neck, suffocating you. i want you to soak in every last stab through the aching remains of your heart. i want you to hurt.
when i leave,
if i leave,
i want you to regret letting me go.
Photo by: Trini Poco
Because I’ve actually changed for the better after the things that happened to me recently…
So I’ve been having a really hectic schedule and yet I still managed to blog about how I started by January….it’s because I love you all and I still want you guys to think that my life is interesting so….. (if people still actually read my blog lol)
We had our creative shots in school and I’ve been hanging out and being social again. Sometimes, I get to buy streetfood with some friends and talk about a heck lot of stuff.
I’m not satisfied with my creative shot, though.
As a pioneer of the Bosconian Click organization, we are tasked a heck lot of stuff; not just the band and dance contest trailers for the 20th foundation day, but also other multimedia stuff — I don’t want to spoil yet. In case lower years are reading this, I want the talented to join our organization! We’ll be recruiting members this february, so watch out for announcements.
The start of Intramurals and all Seniors were so stressed during the BM Bazaar! I’m happy I get to help with our business, even though I had to leave our booth most of the time due to my Echoes and BClick duties. I was also tasked by Sir Alexis to take pictures of the participants of the Dance and Band contests!
What’s Intrams without getting to watch the games? (And being a part of it) With all the cheering and that stuff….
I designed this year’s Intrams logo by the way! This is something I should be proud of. And to be honest, I love it when people actually approach me to tell me what I made is really great. Even our SDC loved it!
More sports and games and fun!
These are some stuff that happened this month where I described it more in photos. What a way to start 2014.
But to summarize what’s up with my January…